#147 Men: Stop Fucking Lying – Sam Falsafi  

The powerhouse of a podcast Every Man should listen to and deeply consider right now.

I speak with Sam Falsafi, Head Coach of the hugely successful men movement Wake Up Warrior.

Through Covid-19, human momentum is on pause and it is forcing many to face your truth. The truth you have been potentially avoiding through the lies upon which you build the stories you tell yourself – the defence mechanism of choice for so many men whether they admit it or not.

Sam talks through the process of accepting what you see in the mirror to unlock a greater, more expansive awareness of identity that is built on your truth and then applying it to your well-being, relationships, business and connection to something bigger than yourself.

Interestingly, Sam highlights how the full nature of the Covid-19 impacted world is exposing the true leaders in our communities and those that have a solid connection to something bigger than themselves.

Sam is a straight talking and direct man – simple as that – he tells it like it is based on his wealth of experience both personally and in his role as Head Coach for Wake-Up Warrior.

For the listener this will either be welcomed listening or difficult listening, but either way it is an invitation to expand your identity to something much, much bigger.

Read Full Transcript

Bryn 

Hello and welcome back to WA Real. I’m your host, Bryn Edwards.

 

WA Real follows the oldest form of learning out of listening to the stories and experience of those founders. And why is that? Because when we explore those stories and deeply contemplate them, we can find out who we truly are.

 

Today, the real privilege of speaking someone whose work I’ve been following for quite some time, he’s the head one of the Head Coach at Wake Up Warrior, Mr. Sam Falsafi.

 

Sam welcome to the show.

 

Sam Falsafi 

Thank you. Thanks for having me, man.

 

Bryn

Now, quick question, and you’re over in California. What’s it like over there in this crazy Coronavirus world?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Ah, it’s quiet. It’s quiet, but it’s sunny and beautiful. The nature just I assume, down in Australia is very similar. It’s beautiful outside but it’s quiet and it’s quite. It’s quite sad in a way.

 

Bryn 

Yes. Yeah, it’s pretty pretty similar here. So for those who may not have heard of the wake up warrior movement, can you just give me a brief insight into what it focuses on?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Yeah, definitely the wake up warrior was a man’s only training programme started about seven years ago. Gary J. White, as the founder of the programme initially started about, with 12 men trying to implement a system to have it all have it all in relationship with wife and kids and business and as well as body and spirituality and make sure that you don’t sacrifice one for another. That turned into a movement of 50,000 plus men today, with a number of books, audios, apps and programmes out there today that is helping men specifically, business married men to make better decisions every single day.

 

Bryn 

Yeah, and certainly I’ll be honest, I have the warrior book here, which I bought last year and it’s nothing short. Fucking insightful. Indeed. Just before we jump into today’s thing, what? Why is this important to us? Sam, I understand listening to your story that one of the earliest people to go through warrior week, and you quite quickly decided you wanted to be the head coach. And you made that happen?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Well, I mean, the story it wasn’t. I mean, I came across the the message about seven years, seven years ago, myself, and at that time, I was in the oil and gas industry and I was having my own company running my own company and how to add a story around my identity and that was, you know, when I make enough money, then I will be much, much more present at home. I remember I carried that story for years with me. Yeah, it’s kind of like it’s been the focus of my, my entire adult life has been to to be able to provide a certain level that I that I, that I identified as being successful. And the idea was when I would reach that level, then I would be worth it to give it all to my family. Meanwhile, I need to grind and I need to hustle and I need to work. And that was a story that I had in mind for many, many years. And when I came across the Mr. Warrior was basically an opportunity to question that story, which I didn’t want to obviously massive amount of resistance and holding on to that story because it was the only story I knew. And throughout the the process of trusting, first of all that the process that I walked into, and literally paying attention to some of the details that I did not in the past, I discovered that that story was not true, was not true for me and it was not serving me and I looked into a new story that empowered me and as I did, I started shedding my identity I was no longer associated with the man that I knew in the past 37 Yours is so and and that brought me where I am today. I didn’t know what I want it I didn’t know that you know today I’ll be here speaking to you and believing about 50,000 men across the world. That was not my intention. In fact I didn’t know anything about coaching or guiding or training and other men yet. They didn’t know anything about it. I was completely biassed by it when I work in I just decided to change the story and change my identity and I found this to be the path and I pursued it and here we are today.

 

 

Yeah, and

 

Bryn 

right now I can see so many people having their identity and their death grip on reality as a call it and that being challenged in these times. Hundred percent.

 

Sam Falsafi 

I think human momentum is being put on pause and it’s an opportunity for us to look back and number one, be grateful what we had right fuck what we had was great. The fact that this time When you and I are speaking, millions of people were able to dance, millions of people were able to sit down and eat and have a meal, millions of people were able to play some kind of sports group sports, like literally human movement has been put on pause as we speak. And so what we can do, the only thing we can do at this point is to reflect back and say, We are grateful what we had, and that should fuel us to move forward and ask yourself a better question. Now what now? How do we move forward? Yes, this is a temporary pause. But as we come back, when we go back to the ways we had before, or this period of reflection is going to allow us to operate differently, what we idolise the fame and money, as we did before, are we actually recognise true talents in the front line that are helping people live today. There’s a lot of reflection on what we’ve created. It’s not anyone to blame. We have created I think Although it’s difficult to reflect when when you don’t have money, you don’t have a job for the majority of people, there is a problem because there’s no food in the fridge. You know, literally there’s, there’s, there’s the fuck you I don’t want to reflect I want to survive, yet at the same time for many that have food on the table. And it’s time to reflect and actually open the door for our next neighbour to actually allow them to eat as well, which is something that we haven’t done as humans for a long time.

 

Bryn 

Very true, very true. So one of the things I really wanted to talk to you today was you did an Instagram story recently, that talked through the mirror of denial, which I think really sort of underpins the journey that people go through to have those epiphanies but also why they would escape away from them. And it’s really through that gateway that you start to find your true leadership and and who you are and who your true story is. And I wonder if you could just elaborate on that. Not for me of that place.

 

Sam Falsafi 

Yeah, the mayor of denial is really for an opportunity for man to face the truth. And literally what I’m talking about this concept I’m talking about in the context of men only, why it may apply to women, but I just don’t have any expertise to come in and have an opinion about what a mirror of the NIH may look like for a woman. Because, you know, number one, I do have a penis that qualifies me for what I know. That’s as simple as it gets. I don’t I can’t sit here and say this applies to men and woman. Maybe it does, but that would be for another for a woman to find out what is true for them or not. But so in that context, when you talk about a man facing the truth, typically what happens with men when they want to face the truth is they will see what they want to see. They’ll get vulnerable to certain extent, but they will not go to the places that you are want them to go in the process of asking questions. So if I ask you a question, you will typically give me an answer. And that answer is a lie. Not because you want to manipulate me, simply because that’s the first level answer. And to some extent, there may be some truth to that answer. But as I go deeper and deeper, I become more personal about the question, the more there will be a resistance to that and part of the resistance is just like, and it’s a self self mechanism of protection against against men because men we don’t trust other men because ultimately, we’re competing with the same resources. We’re competing for money, resources, and as well as females. That’s that’s the nature of men. So to trust another man, it’s very difficult and it requires a process. So unless your back is against the wall, the truth doesn’t really come out. But let’s assume that life such as COVID-19, put your backs against the wall and now you are against the wall and you literally cannot deny anymore. The truth and the truth comes out. And the truth is really this reflection of what you see in front of you. You don’t see any other people but you truly hold a mirror and you look at yourself, and what you’re able to see, you’re able to accept both, you know, what you don’t like and what you like both what you may seem to judge yourself and what you may be proud of. In an instance, if you’re able to accept that you’re no longer deflecting your image in some kind of fantasy land, we are conditioned to deflect that in fantasy lands such as positive and negative. So that’s, that’s the initial talk. We can go deeper into that but I’m gonna have you ask further questions so that I don’t go and ramble on about the topic.

 

Bryn 

Right, so. So typically, in your experience, what sort of lies are people telling themselves decide?

 

Sam Falsafi 

The number one lie that a man would tell himself he’s truly what he wants, right? I mean, I can only point the finger at myself. To give an example, I know so many other cases, but the best example is myself. So for years, what I was lying to myself was, I’m going to deny my family, I’m going to deny the love of my wife that I’m married with for 23 years and my children for the pursuit of happiness somewhere else, which would be in the projection of success, seen a money and as well as status in society. And so what that means is that I would work, work or label it as work long hours in order to produce the life that I would say above and beyond securable for my family, right, so that we have food on the table. Yes, was able to produce Yes, but what I wanted was a greater life. And that Greater Life was was coming at the cost of disconnection and absence at home. And when my family and I didn’t really know how to do how to have this at the same time, I didn’t know how to how to To work with the same intensity intensity in my business, and then bring that same intensity at home, because the lie that I would tell myself is, I cannot put in 16 hours into my family and 16 hours to into my business. And to some extent that was true, because that’s 32 hours, we only have 24 hours, and we have to sleep some, well, what I’m was missing on is that I can still be a producer and produce 16 hours a day. But I can bring the same intensity of my production home, and the two hours or three hours that I have dedicated with my family. It’s the same intensity that I could match the same integrity, and the same certainty that I would bring in a business at home. That’s something I didn’t know how to do. I didn’t know how to collapse time and acquire these components of it. And I had to learn that and I really had to learn that by the basics of truly working on habits initially. Then those habits became part of my character and that part of my character Came part of my belief system. And now it’s part of my operating system. So it’s been a very long journey. And typically, I was lying to myself that the biggest lie I was telling myself and that come to your question is, I don’t know. I just don’t know. I know what I know. That was the biggest side. And in fact, I knew all I had to do was let down my guard and give myself permission to let go of the story that was keeping up my guard. No, I must be successful. You know, I have to work. This doesn’t make sense. You know, this is for hippies, that, you know, I don’t need help. No one will tell me how to run my personal life. So many so many obstacles and guards that we put on as men, especially as alpha men to make sure that we come down to the conclusion that Okay, we got this I got this, but the story of our goddess didn’t get me anywhere. They didn’t get anywhere and God be further disconnected from number one my family. As I got disconnected from my family, I got disconnected from other people. I had a story that was a nice guy and I was I was connected to others, but in reality, I don’t really give a shit about anybody else. And as because I didn’t give a shit anybody else, I couldn’t really spiritually be connected to the man upstairs, because it just the mathematical formula for that makes sense. It wouldn’t make sense that I’d be connected to the man upstairs and yet be disconnected to those around me. So I was exposing my own reality of how I was operating as Sam the night sky will sound the night sky was operating as Sam the liar, which is sound a lonely guy, and I wasn’t a guy that was going out there and harming people. But I wasn’t certainly contributing anything into the circle of humanity that we have and we’re living in today.

 

Bryn 

It must be quite a hollow existence when that realisation came was frantic.

 

Sam Falsafi 

Yes, it was and truly when that happened, it’s the it’s the changing moment. We talk about change and transformation. When it happened for me I didn’t recognise that this transformation was taking place I didn’t recognise that just change was in place. Looking back at today inside of this conversation, I can look back and say nothing has changed. I didn’t transform. I’m exactly who I was. I just didn’t see it. So we don’t change. We don’t transform. It’s just different events and different periods in our time allow us to see who we have truly been. And we have forsaken ourselves we have forgotten about the true nature of who we are. And as we recognise pieces of pieces of it, we come closer and closer to this question that all of us have. Nobody has arrived. That is who we are, why we are here. These questions that put us on this quest.

 

Bryn 

Do you find over your experience of seeing this happen with many other men that there’s either a mix of it being a gradual thing or a real snap?

 

Sam Falsafi 

It is it is the over and over? proximity and also in distance, that once a man truly recognise the obstacle on his way and the obstacle on his way, it’s nothing but a story that holds him where he’s at. It’s literally a story once a man recognises the story at once, that’s one once a man recognised, that’s the story. And he chooses to let go, like the possibilities open up. And but this cannot be force. It’s a true recognition moment by the man himself, that this is a story that is holding me back. I cannot be preaching that. Nobody else can be talking about this. It won’t have the impact. The impact happens once the recognition takes place. And often recognition doesn’t take place in some magical space. It’s you wake up and there is an idea that was incepted in your mind and you choose that that idea is yours. The minute you choose, that idea is yours. That Where everything changes. So the work that we do is a constant inception of the possibility of eliminating that story that’s holding you back.

 

Bryn 

Yeah, must be quite beautiful to be around when this happens to men, and all of a sudden crack.

 

Sam Falsafi 

It’s the reward of all the hard work that that you put in. It’s the reward of, you know, truly caring, and wanting to contribute. But it’s also a recognition that we cannot save anyone. You know, there’s this thing that we have inside of with a word that is as harsh as it sound is, I guess a warrior chooses to die, he will die. You’re not here to save anyone and keeping that in mind at one extremity and, and witnessing the miracle that happens over and over. There’s nothing more rewarding than that, at least for me, than anything else that I’ve done. And that will continue to do.

 

Bryn 

Yeah, I can imagine the Sort of cracking open around your health and well being your relationships, your business is quite tangible because it’s there. What does it like when somebody opens up to that bigger faith because that’s something we don’t really dive into, particularly here over in Australia.

 

Sam Falsafi 

Well, that’s what recovery is all about. On the outside may look about business on it. It may look to be about family, but truly every single man that has come to, to work experience has had this divine moment and an encounter that is very personal. For him and the man upstairs. It’s it’s a moment where you move away from information about God and you truly get into an encounter. And this is this is a magical moment. It is expected to happen at one point, as we all truly listen, because none of us truly listen. Right? we’re so busy, we have so much stories we have so much ideas. But if we simply sit and listen, and then trust what we are hearing and over and over And over trust what we are hearing, we recognise that the only guru that we truly are is ourself and the guide into this journey is ourself. And so we created a tool here warrior called the stack. And you have that in the book and the stack is a conversation you have with yourself. And these conversation with yourself opens the door and opportunity, particularly a series of questions a man will ask himself every single, every single day, and that opportunity opens a space for him to hear his own voice to hear guidance, and the more that guidance become visible and trustable to that man, and the more certain he becomes around that, the more this bridge is created between anything that we fear, especially now and fate, right, so we become the bridge between fear and faith. And that couldn’t be a better moment. And a better time right now to to explore that because there’s not a fucking moment that goes by that all of us don’t fall apart in a little corner. And then we repackage ourselves. Somehow, like, air who you are, it could be the richest guy on the planet or you could be the most confident guy on the planet. There are moments where you are collapsing by yourself alone in fear. And if you have the tools to repackage yourself, you carry on. This is a game of moment by moment. We don’t even have the luxury of day by day. And of course, it’s gonna be a lot of

 

Bryn 

a moment. Yeah,

 

Sam Falsafi 

of course, it’s gonna be a lot of guys pretending that this is okay. that things will be okay. And it’s good to think that way. But it’s better to know, the only place you can know it’s moment by moment and what can you create in this moment? That’s knowledge, everything else is an assumption.

 

 

That’s strong. Well, then,

 

Bryn 

just take it back to yourself. What are some of the things that you know, these are extraordinary times? What are some of the things that

 

 

even you’re learning about yourself as we move forward in these uncertain and extraordinary times?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Well, number one, the learning is We have idolised fame and power. And we have associated that to leadership. That has been our biggest mistake as human. We have recognised leadership based on how much money you have and how famous you are. And that in our biggest human mistake that we have all contributed to it. Because in a time like this when human momentum is on pause, you can see the many people that are actually wealthy, they are not here to lead at all. They have fired bunch of people and they’re living in the ranches and then basically hoping that the banks reopen and they can continue making some interest on this. Famous people gone, powerless, nothing to suit nothing to do nothing to contribute, folded in pieces. And true leaders have risen, the janitor that is currently in the in the hospitals that has to make the choice every single day Do I go to work and do my work because my work matters, versus if I go today to work, I may bring the disease to my family. That’s a dilemma that a true leader is dealing with every single day. Those people are making daily decisions. The frontline has demonstrated to be the leaders. Many spiritual leaders are there many people that are talking many, many regular people that have chosen to turn on their camera and lead others and bring certainty every single morning into life of others. Not positive fucking attitude. No one wants a cheerleader. We are done with Lady. True certainty. So this moment, this parent has exposed to us the meaning of leadership. And we can embrace this. The meaning of leadership is is not how many followers you have or how many people follow you. The meaning of leadership is how many other leaders can you create? How many other leaders can you create by action, and that couldn’t be a better moment than today for us to do that. And as we do that, we have a common interest. Leaders are now leading and leaders All of us, every man, a leader, all of us have a common interest in leadership. And I hope this moment of reflection allows us to disconnect ourselves from the idea of having famous people and rich people to lead. I have nothing against famous people, I have nothing against wealthy people. I have everything to do with false leadership associated with them. And I will not sign up for that. In my next in my next choices.

 

Bryn 

There’s a certain duty at the moment about this situation, it’s sort of the tide is coming out and those who have done the work there and those that haven’t been pulled out with

 

Sam Falsafi 

100%. I mean, if you have been a guy that has been spiritually disconnected, I’m sorry, man, you’re fucked at this point. If you’ve been a guy that’s been lived in a dilemma of what is God, what do I listen to, you know, is this this religion there, if all that you’ve done is where you are right now. It’s going to be a difficult time for you to lean but In fact, at the same time, it may be the greatest time for you to find your spiritual path. Yeah, it has nothing to do with religion is exposed. Religion is exposed now. You can go to church, you can go to mosque, you can go to synagogues, you can go to your to your temples anymore. Like the only template you find to have right now you are exposed. You and I are exposed. The only template is demonstrated to be right here inside of your heart. Your heart centre is your temple. And there is a there’s a unified energy here. And it is a unified field among all of us, where we have collapsed distance right now the proof of it is this this podcast right here between you and I are miles away thousands of miles away, and yet feels like we know each other for 30 years in this conversation. Why? Because you’re both walking inside of a unified field where we’re in that unified field. Like the only difference between you and I is that you’re I’m wearing black and you’re wearing blue and red and you happen to be on the other side of the world. That’s the only difference, when we truly embrace that and accept that we find ourselves to be in a very beautiful place. And so part of spirituality is to believe in this unified field, whether it’s a, you know, your religious, a Catholic or Muslim or Jewish or whatever beliefs that you have that brings you to this unified field. Beautiful. But once you are in the field, we are all one we are all on. There’s a saying that says, You’re either my brother in fate, or you’re my equal in humanity. And this is what we have to accept today. And for a long time, we have denied that we’ve created these cliques and the circles, that if you live in this area, and if you go to this church or if you go to this to this mosque, then then then you’re working. Other than that, you’re not all that has been exposed. There’s nothing to argue against that.

 

Bryn 

is beautiful. And to ask questions, one and this is probably gives gives the readers an insight To the core for the daily daily work, what are you doing to keep yourself nice and grounded at the moment.

 

 

But the

 

Sam Falsafi 

the the best advice I could have is following without getting it and linking into specifically what we do here at warrior. Just overall it’s human. When you open your eyes in the morning, that’s the opportunity to see, you have been given an opportunity to see where we were all when we were sleeping is the unknown. I mean, the greatest The greatest researcher on on sleep I forgot the name of the doctor, but this gentleman has studied sleep for years. And you open his book and and the first note is the thing about the sleep is that we don’t know anything about it. Now continue reading this book, right? So that’s the truth. Ultimately, we are when you open your eyes you are in this world, and which means yesterday, yesterday was just an easy day compared to what’s going to happen. Today, that’s going to be your attitude. Then as you open your eyes, you shouldn’t really be thinking the next five minutes, how you’re going to create your day. Will you create your day based on some random activities that you’ll do without even thinking? Or can you put some thinking time aside? If you put this thinking time aside, I’m making a very simple get out of 20 minutes of thinking time side, you can do whatever you want. In this thinking time. You can take off your shirt, you can put some oil on your nipple, you can have your pillow, you can have your dog you can do whatever you want. All I’m saying all I’m recommending is put aside 20 minutes of thinking time, you will you will see the magic of what your mind can create the patterns and the habit and how you can actually construct your day what you want your desire. If you simply slow down and give yourself 20 minutes of thinking time. What I do personally, I wake up at four 30 in the morning, and so from 430 to 830 is his four hours blocked for me selfishly. Because if I can give to my, if I cannot give to myself first thing in the morning, then I’m pretty much useless to everybody else, I cannot pour in from an empty cup. So my role when I wake up is to pour my cup. And when I pour my cup, then I have my day because I can pour from that cup, into my wife into my kids into others. And so that’s the attitude. Now you don’t have to do it for hours. Some people do it that much, because that’s important for me, that’s the roll up. But if you start with 20 minutes, in your thinking, you’ll discover 20 will become 4040 will become two hours and you start discovering that it’s not just thinking it’s about movement of the body. It’s about spirituality and connection with God. It’s about providing love to your loved ones first thing in the morning like you do these things, and that’s the core for that you’re talking about. You actually complete the portfolio of your life in each category in your connection and spirituality. The way you’re thinking about production and business in the way you take care of your body and the movement and what you’re going to decide to put inside of your body, and in a way you connect with your loved ones, and how you’re going to pour love into them first thing before anybody else. That’s the practice, of course, for the details in the book, but to answer your question, my personal advice would be started by 20 minutes of thinking every single morning.

 

Bryn 

Super. And the last question I asked all my guests on wi rail, is if you could take a little nugget of information right now and upload it into the collective consciousness or just get it can I spent like, Neo in the matrix if you just jam something in there, so everybody gets it? What would that be right now?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Stop fucking line.

 

Bryn

Simple

 

Bryn 

some it’s been a true privilege to listen to you this month. Winning. I’ve said I’ve been a big fan of the wake of warrior yourself for some time. And despite the fact you’re 15 hours behind and the other side of the world you know the impact goes all the way around the world. If people want to find you and wake up warrior where did it where’s the best place to come?

 

Sam Falsafi 

Sure, you can find us at Wake-up warrior on Instagram or anything that you would type in with wake up warrior. There’s a specific podcast called warrior week now calm which tells the story of hundred men plus that I’ve kind of came into this experience and you get to hear from them rather than you know, from us people get tired hearing from us.

 

I do want to thank you for for for enabling this conversation. I’m available in the future. If this happens to be another subject that we both want to explore. You’re truly doing the work in the front line as well. exactly same thing that there’s no difference in what you do. And what we do and how we all do it is is is the fact that we are here and we’re dedicating some time. Listen, man this past 30 minutes in 30 minutes of your time, 30 minutes of my time, like literally, you were not with your family, you’re not with your kids, you were not with anybody else. You were here present 30 minutes. So is that you match that I matched it. And that’s exactly what it is. And, you know, this is the work of the flatline. So I just want to appreciate the time and effort that you put in creating these podcasts and putting those voices out. It’s truly a work that is needed in today’s modern era.

 

Bryn

Thank you very much, sir.

 

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